This was the first time I ever looked at Faith.
We prayed for strength, for a miracle, for the doctors to be wrong.
We were told that she wouldn't live, we were told that she shouldn't live.
We disagreed with them.
I don't regret our decisions...
We are now seeing what the doctors told us about.
We are seeing the frontal lobe brain damage the most...
I feel like I am living in a house that I work in.
We are now having to build a safe room...for her safety and the others in the house.
She is only 3 and a half...
She has bruised, bitten, pinched, punched slapped, kicked, everyone in our house...
She has thrown plastic chairs, toys, overturned kitchen chairs in her rages...
She has tried climbing out the bedroom windows, on the second floor.
She is pushing us to our absolute limits...
We love her, she loves us, we couldn't live without her...
We need to learn to live with her, and this is what is hard.
I now have to say the doctors were right. I now have to come out of my denial closet.
Everything has escalated so much and so fast that I can barely process it...
I can't help but think what is going to happen to her in 10 years, in 15 years...even just in 5 years...
It makes my heart sad to think that we won't be able to handle her one day.
She is already too strong for me to restrain properly...
How on earth do parents handle this part of the journey?
She can go from a happy go lucky little girl
To a complete, uncontrollable, violent meltdown in less then a second...
And to top it all off...no one sees this unless they are close enough to our family...
I am not handling this well...at all...
Ah, what a post! You are a strong woman and I'm sure she feels the love. By being so open, honest and understanding - I know you are doing the best for her.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and all the support I can - over the net.
We see it. We know you are doing your absolute very best for her and for the rest of your family. Make those hard calls, we're here for you. {{hugs}}
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you are aware and able to admit that you are overwhelmed shows just how amazing you are. Just keep loving her. The answers will come. You are on my prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing, we have wondered if a time will come when we can no longer have our son at home with us. Praying for you, Faith and your family.
ReplyDeletePraying for you and hoping things improve. There are many times I tell myself, one day at a time, and I don't have anything close to the challenges face you.
ReplyDeleteSending you a hug...