You can't choose your family. The myth behind this phrase.
I have heard it said numerous times. You can't pick your family, you are stuck with them. While this is true, our blood relationships are decided for us at birth, or at adoption, our true relationships are chosen by us.
What do I mean by true relationships?
Those friends that know everything about you. They aren't just there for the surface issues, they want to go deeper. They care about the heart issues, what you are going through and they want to help carry the load. Those friends are the ones who don't run when a big problem arises. They stick around, no matter what, they help work things out. They offer advice and follow up without worrying about offending you. They know that you won't hold offence. They are the ones who you know you can say anything to and they understand. They know when it is time for them to unload and seek help, on the flip side, they also know when you need to unload, when you need those extra arms to hold you up. They just know...
Proverbs 17:17
A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need
These friends are close because they hold the same values and beliefs as you. They "get" you. These ties are so much stronger then any "family" relationship may have.
They are a gift to you from God!! We need to make sure that we protect our gifts.
I had this picture of kids opening their presents on Christmas morning, they are so excited, it shows up on their faces, in their words, in their actions. It feels good to receive a gift, we play with it, we enjoy it, we read it, whatever it is, we get to know it.
Then we treasure it, we take care of it, depending what it is we wash it, we mend it, it is our treasure.
When someone comes into our life and they try to take our treasure, we become defensive it is ours, they can't have it. We may share it but we always know that it is ours. We sometimes have to fight for it. We fight because we know that it was really meant for us...
That is what true friendship is, the same thing, when we find it, it is like that gift we open and treasure, we get to know the person, we mend it when it falls apart.
Proverbs 17:9
9He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends.
We fight for it, sometimes we have to stand up against people to keep it. We know it was mandated, it was given to us...from God and that makes it so much more than any other relationship...it is the true blood relationship.
Proverbs 16:27-30
27A worthless man devises and digs up mischief, and in his lips there is as a scorching fire.
28A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.
29The exceedingly grasping, covetous, and violent man entices his neighbor, leading him in a way that is not good.
30He who shuts his eyes to devise perverse things and who compresses his lips [as if in concealment] brings evil to pass
On a personal note, I love my family. They are there for me and support me in times of need. I am fortunate, not everyone has that. Some of my family have similar values to me and I can interact with them on a higher level then others. We don't have to interact with everyone on the same level and that is ok. My family will always be important to me, will always have a part in my family's lives.
However, I do have a few, a very select few friends who know everything. I know that I can talk to certain friends about certain things. I can go deeper with them. When I am having a bad day, I can talk to them about it and because of the same value system, they can help direct me down the right path. They can pray for me and support me in my decisions. They can help me through a situation and never look upon me differently.
I couldn't live without this small group. They are my treasures they are my family, they know who they are. I will fight for them and to keep our relationship blooming, and producing.
Sometimes I am in a position where I need to lean on them for so much support, and when I need to make extremely difficult life decisions they let me cry on their shoulders, they let me vent when I need to...They have a positive outlook, they know who I am and know that I am God's daughter and they build me back up to where I need to be. They do what they can to give me that hand up out of my pit of despair and help me set my feet solid on the ground again.
Everyone needs a friend like that. Everyone needs to let someone get close enough to them. We need to continue building and striving for the best relationship. We need to reciprocate the love and the help and not just have a one way relationship.
Friendship is give and take...if you just take it is not a true friendship...if you just give it is not a true friendship...both of those situations become overwhelming on both sides and that is when you see the true colours!!
“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.”
Arnold Glasgow
I have heard it said numerous times. You can't pick your family, you are stuck with them. While this is true, our blood relationships are decided for us at birth, or at adoption, our true relationships are chosen by us.
What do I mean by true relationships?
Those friends that know everything about you. They aren't just there for the surface issues, they want to go deeper. They care about the heart issues, what you are going through and they want to help carry the load. Those friends are the ones who don't run when a big problem arises. They stick around, no matter what, they help work things out. They offer advice and follow up without worrying about offending you. They know that you won't hold offence. They are the ones who you know you can say anything to and they understand. They know when it is time for them to unload and seek help, on the flip side, they also know when you need to unload, when you need those extra arms to hold you up. They just know...
Proverbs 17:17
A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need
These friends are close because they hold the same values and beliefs as you. They "get" you. These ties are so much stronger then any "family" relationship may have.
They are a gift to you from God!! We need to make sure that we protect our gifts.
I had this picture of kids opening their presents on Christmas morning, they are so excited, it shows up on their faces, in their words, in their actions. It feels good to receive a gift, we play with it, we enjoy it, we read it, whatever it is, we get to know it.
Then we treasure it, we take care of it, depending what it is we wash it, we mend it, it is our treasure.
When someone comes into our life and they try to take our treasure, we become defensive it is ours, they can't have it. We may share it but we always know that it is ours. We sometimes have to fight for it. We fight because we know that it was really meant for us...
That is what true friendship is, the same thing, when we find it, it is like that gift we open and treasure, we get to know the person, we mend it when it falls apart.
Proverbs 17:9
9He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends.
We fight for it, sometimes we have to stand up against people to keep it. We know it was mandated, it was given to us...from God and that makes it so much more than any other relationship...it is the true blood relationship.
Proverbs 16:27-30
27A worthless man devises and digs up mischief, and in his lips there is as a scorching fire.
28A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.
29The exceedingly grasping, covetous, and violent man entices his neighbor, leading him in a way that is not good.
30He who shuts his eyes to devise perverse things and who compresses his lips [as if in concealment] brings evil to pass
On a personal note, I love my family. They are there for me and support me in times of need. I am fortunate, not everyone has that. Some of my family have similar values to me and I can interact with them on a higher level then others. We don't have to interact with everyone on the same level and that is ok. My family will always be important to me, will always have a part in my family's lives.
However, I do have a few, a very select few friends who know everything. I know that I can talk to certain friends about certain things. I can go deeper with them. When I am having a bad day, I can talk to them about it and because of the same value system, they can help direct me down the right path. They can pray for me and support me in my decisions. They can help me through a situation and never look upon me differently.
I couldn't live without this small group. They are my treasures they are my family, they know who they are. I will fight for them and to keep our relationship blooming, and producing.
Sometimes I am in a position where I need to lean on them for so much support, and when I need to make extremely difficult life decisions they let me cry on their shoulders, they let me vent when I need to...They have a positive outlook, they know who I am and know that I am God's daughter and they build me back up to where I need to be. They do what they can to give me that hand up out of my pit of despair and help me set my feet solid on the ground again.
Everyone needs a friend like that. Everyone needs to let someone get close enough to them. We need to continue building and striving for the best relationship. We need to reciprocate the love and the help and not just have a one way relationship.
Friendship is give and take...if you just take it is not a true friendship...if you just give it is not a true friendship...both of those situations become overwhelming on both sides and that is when you see the true colours!!
“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.”
Arnold Glasgow
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