So, the dr appt went ok yesterday, except that I did not know that I had gone for a physical in August of 2005. In Ontario, OHIP will only cover 1 a year. I apologized to the dr about that and told her I had written down my list of "symptoms". So we started to go over them.
I either have a thyroid problem or I have too much stress (hm, go figure). She sent me away with a requisition for bloodwork, which I have to be fasting from 9pm on for and a pack of sample medicine. She said that my emotional state is either due to the stress or thyroid, it can happen in both, and in order to stabilize it I should be on this medication. It is for anxiety disorders.
After my Princess had been born I went to the dr with very similar issues. She wanted me to go on the same type of medication and I told her I wanted to deal with the problem without the medicine. This time, I feel differently.
But then I am also struggling with the idea that if I take the medication then I am not relying on or having enough faith in God, that He can heal me, it makes me feel like a failure of sorts... So I end up feeling crappy about my self-esteem again and keep thinking that people are going to look at me weird...
My blood pressure was up at 130/100. Maybe I was just having a bad day, but I have also never had high blood pressure, and this medication should help that out too. I have also talked to hubby about cutting back A LOT of the stresses in our lives. My dad had to be on blood pressure medication for a long time. Since he was about my age I believe and I don't want this happening to me.
I had also asked about breast reduction. I am in SERIOUS need of this. I told her that I am going to work on losing some weight first and see if they shrink (some of us get upset about that)The dr said that if I can prove that I can keep the weight off then we can talk about reduction...YAY!!
But for now I am going to try the medicine for a week and see what it is like. I have told a few people who are close to me and see me or talk to me daily to keep an eye and make sure nothing weird is happening. I go back to see the dr in 10 days or so, so I will know more about my blood results then.
Oh well, and that is just that. I hope this is not too much of a downer post, but it is what I am thinking about at this moment!!
Don't worry about taking the medication, it's short-time fix right? You're wanting to find the reason why it's happening, getting to the root. Sometimes we have to take the meds, it's not a lack of faith. While taking them continue to believe and thank God for finding out the problem - for the answer. He's not going to give you an F... He loves you too much and wants to see you well. A happy wife/mom is a happy home, that's also all He wants!!
ReplyDeleteGod created the medicinal plants you know!! He created us with minds that would discover the power of them....so don't worry about it! I struggled with this myself when I was having the miscarriages....I thought taking the meds was a lack of faith....but it relieved the stress and that is not good and everything worked together for good!!!
ReplyDeletesometimes we need the extra help to get back on our feet!
For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning.
ReplyDeleteLet us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God's unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it].
Hebrews 4:15-16 (Amplified)