hey there, tired and weary mom of two sisters (lol)!
i checked my email this morning and my daughter, (no average girl), said "hey mom, thought you could help her out here" and proceeded to give me your blog address.
i had no idea if she was being sarcastic or serious. anyway, when i read the questions about the sister dilemma, i knew she was nothing but serious.
i have 3 girls (19, 17 and 7), and from the beginning it was so important to me to help teach them how to have a close and "working" relationship. it just hurts me so much to see families that grow apart so easily, when i know deep down inside family are some of our fav people.
one really "off the wall" and simple thing i started doing when the girls were about 6 and 8...when i would see an argument begin, i would send them both in the bathroom and tell them "do not come out until you have both brought resolution to this problem." my goal in this was to begin to allow them to work thru their own problems becos i did not want to be a referee or judge between the two of them for the rest of their lives. the first time i explained that they had to go to the bathroom to work their problems out, it was a funny site. but over time, believe it or not, they started going to the bathroom on their own wills and "work it out".
as the years have passed (way to fast i might add! tear-tear), they still go to eachother and talk. not to say they don't ever come to me for counsel, advice, etc in dealing with each other..but over all, it taught them to solve a problem thru communication with each other. and they have stopped using the bathroom as the meeting place, now it's usually their car or some other quiet place. i think the bathroom worked well because it's small, there's absolutely nothing to do in there, and they didn't want to spend alot of time in there, so they got right to working thru the issue.
and to this day, if my husband and i get into an argument, they look at us and say "um, ya'll need to go to the bathroom and work this out!"
there are several other things over the years, but this seemed to have sticked the most in dealing with head on problems between the two of them. hope this helps in some small way.
and also, as you already know...pray, pray and pray some more!
ok, so I did it!! The 2 girls were arguing and actually hit each other... I sent them to the bathroom to talk it over and work it out together...they came out a few minutes later and I called them to talk to me. I asked what they had talked about and they said that they had apologized to each other. They are off playing nicely togather now too!!!
hey girl! i'm sorry i'm so behind in getting around to looking at your blog! i appreciate you dropping by last week!
ReplyDeletebtw, i absolutely love it when the crazy machine eats my posts!!! NOT!
hey there, tired and weary mom of two sisters (lol)!
ReplyDeletei checked my email this morning and my daughter, (no average girl), said "hey mom, thought you could help her out here" and proceeded to give me your blog address.
i had no idea if she was being sarcastic or serious. anyway, when i read the questions about the sister dilemma, i knew she was nothing but serious.
i have 3 girls (19, 17 and 7), and from the beginning it was so important to me to help teach them how to have a close and "working" relationship. it just hurts me so much to see families that grow apart so easily, when i know deep down inside family are some of our fav people.
one really "off the wall" and simple thing i started doing when the girls were about 6 and 8...when i would see an argument begin, i would send them both in the bathroom and tell them "do not come out until you have both brought resolution to this problem." my goal in this was to begin to allow them to work thru their own problems becos i did not want to be a referee or judge between the two of them for the rest of their lives. the first time i explained that they had to go to the bathroom to work their problems out, it was a funny site. but over time, believe it or not, they started going to the bathroom on their own wills and "work it out".
as the years have passed (way to fast i might add! tear-tear), they still go to eachother and talk. not to say they don't ever come to me for counsel, advice, etc in dealing with each other..but over all, it taught them to solve a problem thru communication with each other. and they have stopped using the bathroom as the meeting place, now it's usually their car or some other quiet place. i think the bathroom worked well because it's small, there's absolutely nothing to do in there, and they didn't want to spend alot of time in there, so they got right to working thru the issue.
and to this day, if my husband and i get into an argument, they look at us and say "um, ya'll need to go to the bathroom and work this out!"
there are several other things over the years, but this seemed to have sticked the most in dealing with head on problems between the two of them. hope this helps in some small way.
and also, as you already know...pray, pray and pray some more!
have a wonderful and blessed day!
lisa
ok that is such a good idea with the whole bathroom thing!!! I am going to try it!! hey I would try anything too!! having 4 girls ages 12-3!!!
ReplyDeleteok, so I did it!! The 2 girls were arguing and actually hit each other... I sent them to the bathroom to talk it over and work it out together...they came out a few minutes later and I called them to talk to me. I asked what they had talked about and they said that they had apologized to each other. They are off playing nicely togather now too!!!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
Very Cool!
ReplyDelete