2am...

So, here I am. It is 2am and I can't sleep. I am going to regret this tomorrow, I know it!!

My mind is just going a mile a minute so this blog entry probably won't make any sense!!

I just keep thinking about where I have come from in my life and how much it has changed. I went from being that "carefree" and "nothing really matters" type to this mom who is homeschooling and raising 4 children.

I really don't know why I am thinking about this, but I am, and I can't sleep because of it!! So here I am blogging about nothing.

In my earlier post I had said that this year is going to be different then the others, everything is going to seem new.

I still am trying to see it clearly. There has been so much on the negative this year already, it just seems like it won't end! We had a year like this before. The loss of our daughter, my grandfather, my cousin, our good friend, dh's mother. It was CRAZY!!It seemed like it wasn't ending...but it did. God brought us through it all.

I am just really feeling like something is happening, something is about to happen. We are becoming who God wants us to be.

Like in Romans 12:14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another.

We don't go through trials for no reason. There is a reason for everything. What we have gone through we share to help others, and on and on... We mourn with those who are mourning, and by doing that we learn to love deeper and more real, we learn to put silly differences aside and love God's child, no matter what!! We rejoice when they rejoice, we leaern to be happy for others no matter what!!

The new "things" that are coming are going to be absolutely wonderful, I am sure of it... I can't wait to see what the rest of the year brings.

Well, I am tired now, who knows if this makes sense or not. I am going through some strange, yet highly accepted, changes right now in my life. I am able to forgive myself for some of the things I have done and chosen in the past. I know that God had already forgiven them but I had to forgive myself first. Isn't it funny that we still have issues like that around after we know God has taken care of them already!!

Anyhow, I think I can go to bed now.

Goodnight to all who read this!!